


As we are

by TSerpillum



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, First Dates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-20 20:57:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13725831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TSerpillum/pseuds/TSerpillum
Summary: The unease was in his guts from the early morning.“It’s just nervousness. Relax, man. It’s not your first date.” Abel, his roommate, tried to reassure him. As much as he appreciated it, it didn’t work.To this day, Abel doesn’t know about his secret.Nifa, his date, doesn’t have a clue about it either, and Keiji knows he’ll regret going to the circus.But there was no way he’d miss the chance for a date with her, even though the risk of it ending badly is quite high.Sometimes he wished he wasn’t such a big risk taker.It would spare him a lot of unnecessary trouble.





	As we are

The unease was in his guts from the early morning.

“It’s just nervousness. Relax, man. It’s not your first date.” Abel, his roommate, tried to reassure him. As much as he appreciated it, it didn’t work. 

To this day, Abel doesn’t know about his secret.

Nifa, his date, doesn’t have a clue about it either, and Keiji knows he’ll regret going to the circus.

But there was no way he’d miss the chance for a date with her, even though the risk of it ending badly is quite high.

Sometimes he wished he wasn’t such a big risk taker. It would spare him a lot of unnecessary trouble.

 

* * *

 

She chats cheerfully, talking about her day and the funniest clients, asking some little questions to start a conversation. Despite all her efforts to lift the mood and his to play along, Nifa sees that something’s off with him, yet she won’t press on it. If he dislikes her company, then there won’t be another date, so she has one more reason to enjoy this one, she smiles disappointedly to herself, completely unnoticed by him. Keiji concentrates on his breathing, a technique he teaches to the people he works with, convincing them it will work.

Crappy idea.

It doesn’t.

 

* * *

 

“The young girl comes every now and then to give free haircuts. She’s a hairdresser, you know, and obviously one with a big heart.” a co-worker explained the presence of the fresh face in a place where the abandoned and lost ones gathered. Keiji knew right from the start she’s not one of them, it revealed in her bright smile, kind words and acceptance of every soul in there. Even when she worked on for weeks unkempt and unwashed hair, no sign of disgust was to be noticed. Friendly and approachable as she was, she was soon accepted and familiar with the staff of the shelter.

Except with him.

Nifa, as he heard is her name, flashes him smiles when they greet each other, yet she never comes to talk to him first. The dislike he feels over it surprises him, as well as the excitement whenever he knew she would come. Working on Saturdays became something he looked forward to, a little extra for the end of the week.

“Never have I seen a man returning so fresh and happy from work. On Saturday. Of all days.” Abel teased, winking behind his glasses with a grin.

“I love my job.” He shrugged his broad shoulders, but the upturn of his lips was a giveaway sign.

“Ask her out.”

With a beer in his hand, his roommate retired to his room, leaving a wondering Keiji behind.

“Why not?”

 

 

* * *

 

It happened three months after she first arrived there.

“I’m so sorry, it’s my fault.” she apologised profusely to the client, a middle aged man ruined by substance abuse. He had his quirks no one warned her about, and as Nifa worked with the scissors on his hair, an unexpected movement of his made the sharp edge cut the delicate flesh of her finger. A crimson drop appeared on the pale skin almost immediately.

The man watched her curiously, unaccustomed to the smallest acts of kindness others take for granted, not sure how to react to her apologies.

 

“No stitches will be needed, luckily the cut is not deep.” Keiji announced after treating her injured finger “I am really sorry this happened.”

“It’s okay. This will heal soon enough. It’s just embarrassing.” she admitted in a low voice, trying not to laugh at herself.

“Jeff is a bit off sometimes. He’s a good man, many of those who end up here are, but as many things in life happened the way they do…” he drifted off for a moment, not sure how to complete his thought while the curiosity in her eyes took on a warm nuance.

“Life isn’t always good to the ones who deserve it the most.”

A deep understanding adorned her little smile, giving him the feeling of safety to be who he is. When he took off the mask of the strong social worker, what people got to see isn’t charming at all, so before he knew it, they go away, leaving him more pitiful than before.

Still Keiji is a risk taker, and with that in mind, the words came easily.

“As an apology, we could drink coffee sometime. If you’d like.” he offered, intrigued by the short girl who returned every time to this shelter, brightening up the day for people who were alone in this large world.

She looked up at him, nodding smilingly.

“Yeah, I’d like to.” 

Thanking every deity out there for his tanned skin which never gave away the blush on his face, his gaze lingered on her in silent adoration.

After a moment, she added:

 “Actually, there’s a circus coming to town. I’ve never been to one, so why don’t we go there together. If you’d like, of course.”

Behind his facade, his stomach dropped. 

He didn’t.

Nevertheless, he accepted, which was a clear indicator of how he’s fallen for the pretty hairdresser.

 

* * *

 

The tent was filled with joy and excitement, people of all ages enjoying the show the artists presented. A world of wonders and magic is introduced to them, the ringleader explains, much to Nifas delight, but for Keiji it is a test of his capability to uphold and apply all he learnt so far. All of his concentration aimed at the inhales and exhales of the thick, stuffy air.

_Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale._

During the variety of acrobatics, aerial acts and juggling, Nifas joyfulness dies down, leaving her with a sting of sadness. Confident in her perceptiveness of human behaviour, she was sure of him being into her. In her hair saloon she met a variety of different people which led to her being able to reading them easily. But the stiff man beside her with shoulders up his ears certainly does not enjoy this, as his already tanned skin began fading slightly. Under her dark bangs her brows furrow, noticing the deep rise and fall of his chest.

An insignificant conversation from a while ago crossed her mind when she did her make up for this date. It was Moblit, whom her long-time client and friend Hanji introduced her to, to speak about the shelter and how understaffed it is. There was a mention of a social worker who is devoted to a special group of people, Moblit didn’t remember correctly which it was. However, he was told to be one of the best they had. Could it be…?

The need to touch his hand nearly overpowered her, but that’s not what you do on a first date, as her friend Petra told her. Perhaps he isn’t even okay with it. 

She continues to watch him discreetly, the suspicion in her increasing.

 

 

As the last act of the evening, a famous fire eater enters the ring, not hesitating to light the fire carelessly.

The fine material of his shirt was soaked with cold sweat, his breathing shallowed against his will.

It’s one he can control, Keiji reminded himself, this fire won’t do any harm, not to him, nor to anyone else there. Especially not to her.

_Breathing, concentrate on breathing._

Another technique applicable in such situation is to turn his entire attention on one object, which he does as he spots a boy on the opposite side of the ring, gasping in awe at the tiger tamer and their act. Brown hair covered by a cape, cheeks are round, the blue shirt with a print he tries so hard to figure out.

But all he sees is his childhood home burning to cinders.

He closes his eyes in agony, his composure faltering in seconds.

 Nifa touches his cold hand, quietly calling his name. Fearful eyes lock with her concerned ones, alarmed but warm, yet still not enough to keep him there.

“I’m sorry” he mutters, then rushes out of the tent in need for fresh air.

 

 

“Are you alright?” she speaks from behind him, her voice carefully low in order not to startle him.

In the chill of the late evening he leant on the fence outside the tent, covering his face with his sweaty palms, slowly regaining his composure.

“I’ll be, don’t worry.” Straightening himself, he turns around to look at her, ready to tell her the truth.

“I’m a joke of a social worker.” His bluntness forms a little knot between her brows. “I worked with people who have similar problems to mine. I thought I’m over it, but all the work was made for naught by that idiot there.” Motioning to the tent, he studies her reaction, fearing she will ditch him right away.

The thoughtful nod she gives is of unknown meaning to him.

“Honestly, I already had a suspicion.”

Her confession was unexpected and he widens his eyes in disbelief.

Unable to recover from his silence, he lets it surround the two of them, feeling the adrenaline retreat almost entirely from his blood.

“If you feel like it, we could walk a bit and just talk. About it, about your work in general.” She offers kindly, giving him the much needed relief.

“But that’s not what you talk about on a first date.”

It was a poor attempt to crack a joke which she somehow found funny.

“That’s what my friend also says.”

The giggle coming from her was a soothing sound, better than suffocating silence in the apartment. When Abel is away to visit his family, it gets quite lonely, and tonight he doesn’t want to be alone. Especially not when she is ready to spend her time with him.

“Seemingly we broke every first date rule by now. I don’t mind if we just forget about them.”

“Okay, but we’ll keep it secret from our friends.” she tells in a low, confidential voice, making him laugh. “It will stay between the two of us.”

It was a promise told in earnest, a pact made on a long walk through empty streets, between two people of good knowledge of humans, ready to pull down their guards and be what they are.

Adults with fears, wishes and hopes, no matter how reasonable or silly they are.

Many things in life happen the way they do, and perhaps the best of them happen with the masks removed.

 

**Author's Note:**

> One more Valentine Day Special, requested by QuietCelt on tumblr. Also its heavily relied on her modern AU and a headcanon of mine.
> 
> With or without such holidays, celebrate love and the precious things in life.  
> Love and be loved :)


End file.
